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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

OP here.  Thanks for all of the feedback everyone.  To answer this PP's question, I guess I am hoping she will try to understand what we now know.  We are not medicating because he is six, and we want to wait just a bit longer before we go this route.  I am not anti medication.

I haven't talked to my mom extensively about what is going on with my son, but she is aware that we are spending lots of time and effort trying to help him.  Last month she came to visit, and got so frustrated with my son that she took him to his room and spanked him.  Very hard.  She couldn't understand why he wouldn't sit properly in his chair, couldn't keep elbows off the table, and wouldn't look her in the eye.  The thing is, he can do these things now with the right words and help from us.  He was just having a bad morning with her.

I was helping my daughter get ready, and heard him wailing in his room with her.  I went nuts.  This adds more context, and explains why I need to either set better boundaries, or simply come up with a different holiday plan.  [/quote]

My father's parenting advice for my sensitive, anxious boy with ADHD and LD is to "just give him a good spanking".  Since physically striking the child who practically has a panic attack if you raise your voice would be so effective.  :roll:   Since he's on the other coast I can just say "thank you for your advice" and mentally note to never allow him to be the care-taker for my sons.  You really need to set boundaries and this may mean she has less involvement in your family.

I also have a NT son who is the complete opposite in so many ways.  It's amazing seeing so many things come so easily for him after watching our older DS struggle so hard. =\
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