Reply to My former girlfriend wanted to hurt me so she trash talked me to my fiance

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hi everybody, I am really in a bind here and not sure what to do.[/quote]

I think you should break up. You betrayed him by lying about your past, and he caught you in that lie. Moreover, he is right to be embarrassed that he didn't know that you had lied about your ex-boyfriend and the nature of your "friendship."

Look, your current relationship is based on a huge lie about who you are as a person. You lied about your sexual past in order to mold yourself into something you thought would be more palatable to him. How is this a healthy relationship at all? You have never been your true self in it.[/quote]

+1.  Your lies were tremendous.  Your only hope to save this relationship is to show him through your actions that you are willing to be completely open and honest with him and show that you will continue to do that.  You have to apologize that you were wrong to hide things from him and give him a chance to ask any questions he wants about your past relationships.  You have to answer all details.  Yes, he may indeed judge you.  That will just show that you two may not be right for each other.  He has a right to his sexuality and view of morality just as much as you do.  When you lie or try to portray yourself differently from what appears on the surface, you are manipulating him into making a choice YOU want.  That is the most corrosive disrespectful thing in a relationship.  You have to show him you are willing to tell the truth even when it is painful to you.

Honestly, if your boyfriend were my son, I would tell him that this incident is a REALLY bad way to begin a life together and that he should consider breaking up or, at the least, moving out.  You two need a MUCH longer time spent in a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship honestly expressing your views on a host of issues, without the pressures of living together. [/quote]

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