Reply to My former girlfriend wanted to hurt me so she trash talked me to my fiance

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Reply to "My former girlfriend wanted to hurt me so she trash talked me to my fiance"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A few observations:

1) The ex-friend has a major drinking/rage problem. She sounds like she could be dangerous if she escalates. Women do that too.
2)Lying is never a good policy because the truth will always come out.
3)The questions are: 
  -- why didn't you tell him earlier? Are you ashamed? embarrassed? not completely trusting of fiance's reaction?
  -- why didn't you want to do those things with him? Did you secretly not want to do them with the other guy? Do you think that you don't want to do them with fiance but might meet someone else like that later in life? What dynamic screened fiance out but let ex-BF do those things?

Note that I'm not trying to judge you, but these are questions to ask yourself before you have a big confrontation with your fiance that may be potentially painful to you both.[/quote]

She has more than a drinking problem! She's nasty and wants to ruin it for me and my man.

For sure if I told my fiance about the threesomes I don't think he would have reacted well at all. [b]I know he was looking for a certain woman and I did my best to be that woman.[/b]

With the ex it really was just physical. It's not so much that I was embarrassed to be in them it's sort of that after a while I felt like I was being used physically and that was it.  Maybe the first one was awkward but the times after I thought I was having fun until it came to me that I was sort of being used and I didn't want to do it any more. Does that make sense?

Alos about being shy in bed. Again [b]I didn't want my fiance to get the idea that I've done that stuff before him especially since he hasn't done any of that.[/b][/quote]

This here is the source of the problem. You edited your sexual history when asked, and you shied away from the "experimentation" with your boyfriend when you had the chance. Had you gone with it instead of leaving him with the impression that you don't do that sort of thing, he wouldn't have been surprised like this. With the "real deal," honey, you can't pretend to be something you're not. In wanting to be "a certain woman" you opened the door to criticism that you could have erased had you demonstrated to BF your willingness and the normalcy of those acts. He'd have seen it as a delightful and routine menu item on your sexual list.

It ain't the crime, it's the cover up.

[/quote]

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