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[quote=Anonymous]I am probably biased because my husband had an affair.  I think his affair rendered him a bad parent, which had far-reaching consequences for one of my daughters (the other one is too young to notice things very, she's just 1).  The reason for my thinking is how he conducted his affair.  He "worked" late all of the time and basically missed eight months of their lives while he was busy in hotel rooms and going out with the other woman.  When he was home, he was MUCH more inflexible and harsh with her than he had been before.  My older daughter obviously noticed his disappearing act and less loving attitude.  I tried to constantly reassure her that he loved her and sometimes work takes a lot of time, but that she and her sister were his number one priority.  I think that helped but she doesn't seem to feel very close to him anymore because he wasn't around and his attitude changed markedly during the affair. I kind of feel like an idiot for believing that his work was so long and the cause of him meanness, but I am not sorry for trying to reassure my kid.  So I think his particular affair, or how he handled it, was very detrimental to their relationship.

Now, he seems to wonder why she always prefers me and wants me around but doesn't really ask him to do things with her.  It's pretty clear to me that, even though he's back and his attitude seems to have reverted to pre-affair where she is concerned, he has done some damage to her.  I really hope that time and effort on his part will fix this because I do not want either of my kids to have a bad relationship with their father, even if my relationship with him is not great.

We are not divorcing right now but this particular aspect of the affair is the hardest for me to swallow.  I thought he was an amazing dad before and this behavior is just so unacceptable - that he just threw the kids aside and missed out on a huge chunk of their lives so he could get his rocks off with another woman.[/quote]

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