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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  Dad divorced when I was three;  remarried when I was about 6.  I was always treated differently.  For lack of a better example, think "Cinderella".

Anyway, the issue is now that me and my grown children, and my husband, are left looking for places to celebrate holidays.

I made dad choose many decades ago, and my stepmom has issues of her own.  But they do not need to treat me like I don't belong in the family.

I like the suggestions so far.  I may decide to meet them for coffee and talk to them about how I feel.  Of course, I don't like the idea of apologizing, being stubborn, as I am.

[/quote]

Are you saying you asked your dad to come to your place for the holidays without his wife? Did she have other plans and you were asking him to skip out on those and instead join your family instead? I get that you felt the way you did and because of the history you don't want to apologize, but of course he's going to spend the holidays with his wife. Invite them both over for a lesser holiday to show them that you're more mature now. If that's not a disaster, then say you'd love to see them at more holidays - offer to host, and hope that offer will be reciprocated in the future, but know that you need to make the first gesture of good will, without demanding anything in return. [/quote]

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