Reply to awful night with bf- any tips?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am also the more extroverted one in our relationship, and I am on your boyfriend's side.

Your expectations are princessy. You went and showered and were ready to hang out, but he was still doing what he was doing. Where's your respect for his task, his time?

If I had been you last night (which I have), I would've finished the job application, and then gotten up to take a shower. Before I left, I would say, "Hey DH, I'm going to go take a shower and then do you want to talk/have some dinner/watch a movie together/fool around/etc.?" If he said, "That sounds great!" then great. If he said, "I'm pretty tired and kind of just want to read and crash out" then that would also be fine, because his needs are just as valid of mine.

Your BF should apologize for saying unkind things to you. You should apologize for being needy and demanding. You should talk like adults about how to handle these differences of relational style in the future, or your relationship is going to fail.[/quote]

+1[/quote]

Hmm...this has to be fake.  Nobody on DCUM is this mature, reasonable and comfortable in their own skin as this person.  But just in case you are for real, you sound pretty awesome.  [/quote]

Original PP here. Not a troll, just BTDT.

I also agree with the poster who suggests proactively giving the BF space while doing something else. The thing about being an extrovert married to an introvert is that DH doesn't expect me to witness his relaxation. If he wants to sit around and read a book in silence for 3 hours, he doesn't expect me to also do that. If he's worn out and I need stimulation, I call a friend, or go to the gym, or get into some kind of project, rather than bugging him to entertain me.

It's one thing to want to connect with your partner (which I think is where the OP is coming from, even if it sounds princessy). It's another thing to expect that your partner be there for you, 100% of the time in exactly the way you want. That's just not reasonable, even for people with very similar personalities.[/quote]

PP here, quoting myself.

Also, OP, COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR BF. Communication avoids blow ups like you guys had. If you had told him, "BF, I really want to hang out with you and talk, I could use your advice/thoughts about what happened today" rather than getting pissy because he didn't read your mind, this would probably have ended a lot differently. Communicate your needs clearly. Listen to him when he communicates his needs clearly. Clarify with him if you are not sure what he needs.[/quote]

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