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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for that nice and thoughtful post. That is good advice.

A couple issues at play: this is not her own sister, and she habitually "forgets"/doesn't take in information about me and my family (and never wants to talk about my family in an oddly controlling/way). I need to try to separate the past hurts/"incidents" out from this one, and just deal with this scenario as this scenario. I really will try. I am bracing myself. I see them on Friday.

Weird things...like they have asked me several times where my parents grew up, and seem interested in my mom's military medical officer-family background, which included the fact that she lived in Alaska before it was a state. We've discussed this numerous times over the years. And when they went on an Alaska cruise, they went on and on about this town and that town, including my mom's "Alaska hometown." And I said yes, I've seen/heard a lot about Anchorage, since my mom lived there. "What, your mom lived there? When?" Rrrrrgh!

It comes up sometimes that both my husband's sister and my own brother are gay. They always ask "how my parents took it." We've talked NUMEROUS TIMES about how they took it completely in stride, with love and acceptance, and they always act shocked about that, because "aren't they Republican Catholics?" RRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH.

So yes, I need to prepare myself for this to come up again this weekend, and just prepare in general to [b]feel like they ignore, discount and don't care about me as a person/individual in my own right, beyond being the mother of their grandchild and the "vessel" for their new grandchild...[/b]

Thank you, seriously. Your post was really helpful.[/quote]

Sigh...I know exactly how you feel.  My ILs treat me the same way.  They took 1000 pictures after our first daughter was born, and I made it into one of them.  Like, actual family photos that they must have done while I was in the bathroom because everyone is posing with the baby in the middle and I'm nowhere to be seen.  It feels awful to be the incubator.  I don't have any advice, just commiseration....[/quote]

Sadly, I think a lot of DILs feel this way! [/quote]

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