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[quote=Anonymous]I went with a very minimalist approach.  We didn't give specifics (although he cheated) and just said that we loved them and that families come in different shapes and sizes.  Also got them age appropriate books about different kind of families and about divorce.  They were preschoolers when it happened, so I have time to make up the losses of being a single mom.

Even when my ex fucks up, after the kids ask again what happened (it's been two years and they still ask) and tries to blame me and/or lies, I redirect to the script.  We love you, this has nothing to do with you, etc., etc.

I hope that they never find out what he did to me, because it was to me.  That is not to mean that I have forgiven him or that I am not resentful, because I am.  But to my kids, he's the best thing since sliced bread, and I will not be the one to crush that illusion.  He is a good dad, but he was a fucking asshole to me in the separation trying to cover his affair.  And I will never forget that.  We co-parent okay, and for the most part things run smoothly between us because I have kept it strictly about the kids.

I don't know what would happen if I am put in the situation of having to spend time with OW, since it hasn't happened yet.  He has been wise enough, I think, to avoid that situation.

For now, search for age appropriate ways to tell them, get a therapist and don't bad mouth him to the kids.[/quote]

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