Reply to Recess: son feels blackballed at recess - what can he do to to keep busy?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I've been there with one of my kids and I've been the teacher in this situation helping to get the child connected. Here are things that have helped my own child or my old students:

1.) Find out how your child is trying to connect-barging, asking to play at beginning or middle when it hard to join in. Will he follow the rules of a game already decided upon?

2.) What does your child like to play? Does he like to do things the other kids do? My son is quirky and has these elaborate and endearing play scenarios that interest NOBODY so they rejected him when he asked them to join. One boy invited him to play his game and DS refused so we had to work on flexibility.

3.) Does your son like playing sports? Mine does, but he is highly uncoordinated. We worked on balls skills on weekends and now he sometimes plays with a group of boys at recess.

4.) Does your son enjoy alone time? Ours does, but we had to give him a limit at school because recess is such a good time to learn social skills.

5.) Ask the teacher for input. Maybe your son is playing with others. Maybe she/he knows other kids who he might connect with or maybe she can ask the counselor to help out with a group.

6.) When you hear your child is connecting, have a playdate and keep is short, sweet and fun so the kids don't get sick of eachother.[/quote]

Posting again because I left out a suggestion that worked well with my son and students. See if a teacher or instructional assistant the other boys think is cool is ever at recess. A 20 something IA who all the kids like would help our son get a ball game going now and then and this guy was a magnet for the other boys. If he saw anyone being rude he addressed it and it stopped and if our son did something that alienated the other kids he would correct and coach. He just did this a few times because he can't just devote all his time to my kid, but those few times helped our son build confidence.[/quote]

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