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[quote=Anonymous]OP,

10:18 again.  I'm so glad you're seeing a therapist soon.  I'm an Early Child Development specialist, and I find that children's reactions almost always have a reason and logic to them.  A child curling up in a fetal position in response to seeing a teacher is frightening to me, because it suggests that whatever your child associates with that teacher affected him deeply.

Also, in my last line, I meant to say that when trauma is NOT processed, it can come back to haunt in strange ways.  We know so much more about the neuropsychology of trauma than we did even 20 years ago, and are now better at treating it.

With regard to your experience with the school telling you everything is fine when your son seemed sad, please don't prioritize an adult's interpretations over what you feel intuitively about your child.  I know that can be hard, especially if you are a first-time parent or not used to being assertive with "professionals."  The school's interest and perspective is not identical to yours, and you might be surprised at how poorly run schools can still maintain their accreditation.  Did your son attend North East Stars by any chance?  I've heard a number of negative things about that chain.

I would also be suspicious of any school that does not allow observation by parents. The usual reason given for not allowing parents into the classroom is that it's disruptive.  That can be the case, especially in the early weeks of school when separation issues are at their highest, but the disruption can be minimized with cooperation between the teacher and parent.

I don't know what state you're in, but Viriginia law requires preschools to allow parent access at any time.  Of course, you want to be polite and considerate about visiting, as dropping in without notice can be disruptive, but parents absolutely have the right to observe their child's classroom.  In fact, all of the best preschools I know keep an open door policy to parents.

Your son is lucky to have such an observant, caring mother.  I'm sure with your help and loving support, he will recover from whatever he experienced at his former school.  
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