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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]In my house, if I don't plan it, it doesn't happen.  If my MIL responded that way, I would email her back something light.  "I know it's early, but between leave requests for work and airline tickets, I thought it best to be an early bird.  Let me know when you are making your holiday plans so we can see if a trip is possible."

And then I would do exactly what I wanted.  If she got back in touch, I would say, "Oh!  So sorry.  Hadn't heard from you so I have made plans to host at our house.  We can't get leave/reasonably priced tickets now.  Maybe we can get talk about a spring break trip after the holidays."[/quote]

This advice is perfect.[/quote]

Perfectly passive aggressive.[/quote]

But refusing to discuss holiday plans because first you have to watch some football is a direct way of communicating?[/quote]

Different poster here.  I have to agree.  DH's family is like that - they don't want to "answer" (or so they see it) to anyone, so they don't give helpful answers to anything.  Ever.  In fact, if you spell it out for them, in the nicest way possible, they will become petulant children, dig their heels in, and see how many times and how many ways they can say no.  So, after all these years, I don't bother.  You might be up against this kind of MIL, too, OP.  Just do what we do now, and make your own plans.  MIL can go f*ck herself, frankly.

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