Reply to Divorce etiquette. What happens to former bil?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I've BTDT. Look, divorces are messy, even relatively civil ones. They affect everyone in your circle to some degree. You are allowed to keep your friends, IMO. You are allowed to also be supportive of your sister, and this isn't mutually exclusive. But do mind your sense of discretion. Sometimes folks want drama. Don't give them any. Steer conversation away from anything that might give anyone ammo in any direction for a while. [/quote]

Been through this with divorced friends where I wanted to remain friends with both parties.  Discretion is key and don't allow yourself to be used as a weapon.  With the exBIL, Id say outright that in an attempt to mitigate disaster, you are not discussing Sis.  Period.  Tell Sis the same thing -- you will not discuss BIL.  I wouldn't really bother with anything other than surface pleasantries with her new partner because he probably won't be around long, and if he is, you can warm up later.

If ExBIL attempts to use your continued friendship as a way to get to Sis or get info about her, he gets the old heave ho.[/quote]

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