Reply to Annual family gathering planning causing dissension

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why can't your family use one of the houses owned by MIL or FIL but the adults (not FIL or MIL who are sick) would be in charge of food/cooking/cleaning?[/quote]

I wish we could! It's a strange thing, my MIL has a history of seizures for the past decade or so. She is on anti-seizure medication, but her doctor gave her permission to go off of it this spring. Well, apparently the stress of hosting all of us at her home caused her to have an episode, and because of that she can never host anyone in her home ever again. (This is according to my SIL, her daughter). Even if DH and I agreed to do ALL the shopping, cooking and cleaning, she would still feel the stress of hosting because it is *her* house. So that is off the table. I am a bit incredulous about it, but that's what's been decided.[/quote]

Didn't you say they had bought TWO homes solely for the purpose of hosting you all?  Why doesn't she sell one of them (since she's apparently not using it) and use the money to take everyone to this resort.  Boom.  Solved.  Until next year...

Ok, but seriously, BIL and SIL are "insisting" on a resort that you just can't afford.  Answer:  "we can't afford that.  I'm sorry we can't join you this year."  I really don't understand why it's any harder than that?  Scraping up the money for this ridiculous vacation just to please your in laws would be absurd.[/quote]

I hate this suggestion. My guess is there were too many family members mooching off of mil and not doing their share at this vacation that she finally got wize and put down her own boundary. Op, you yourself are being passive aggressive about this. If your family can't afford to go, don't go. No one else should be paying any portion of your vacation. Despite your weak arguments to the contrary, it sounds like a very bad idea to be roped into this every year. [/quote]

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