Reply to WAPO piece from adoptive mom to teacher

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Pp who adopted her niece:  respectfully, the language around adoption matters a lot to adoptees. It is not just a matter of being pc.  You yourself acknowledged that it hadn't occurred to you that your daughter might suffer some complications due to her adoption. This means that you still have a lot to learn. Which is fine, she's only two. However, since you did take on this child as yours, you really do owe it to her to educate yourself. It may be that she is perfectly fine, as many, many adoptees are. However, it may also be that she struggles, and you should be prepared. Please.[/quote]

So we've agreed. She's only two. :) We'll deal with this stuff if/when it comes up. I'm not worried. Right now I'm worried that she doesn't talk. [/quote]

Why did you take this little girl in if you are so not interested in being her mom? You don't want to be the "real" mother, you don't want to understand adoption, you don't want to try and educate yourself to help her grow up in an emotionally stable environment.

In all honestly, the best long term thing you can do is approach an adoption attorney and discuss a private adoption. I promise there are women out there who will take this little girl and make her the center of their world, will gladly be the real mom, will pour over adoption advice and do whatever it takes to make sure she has an emotionally stable life and good self esteem. Don't rob this little girl of the chance to have a mom who is truly a mom in every sense of the word. Not everyone is cut out to be an adoptive parent.

And lastly by the time the issues come up when your child is school age, it's pretty much too late. You have a window of the first 3 years to help a child with early life trauma and attachment. Once the window closes, it's a very tough uphill battle. Supported by research, do yours, you will find it,[/quote]

We took her because we were literally scared she was going to be dead every evening when we came home from work. And because nobody else in the family was doing anything. And because my husband begged (his sister's daughter) me. [b]I know everyone's raising special snowflakes these days. I'm not.[/b] You are assuming things that are not true. [/quote]

That makes me cry. Everyone should have a parent who thinks they're special.

It's great that you took in a child who needed support. But children need so much more than food and shelter -- they need to be loved. And I'm not feeling the love, at least not based on what you've posted.[/quote]

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