Reply to Men: do you care if a woman has a career?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I've always been of the belief that men don't care if a woman has a career. I'm in my late twenties now but I've worked retail and as an unpaid intern and none of my suitors cared if I was a doctor or lawyer. They were all doctors lawyers or engineers. My sister who is gorgeous is a waitress and is being pursued by a NASA scientist. She doesn't even have a college degree.

So what do you think? Men tell us your honest opinions.[/quote]

Have any of your "suitors" turned into serious boyfriends?  Are you looking for a husband to take care of you?  Every man I have ever dated, including my husband, would run far away from a woman who was angling for a husband as a means of *avoiding* a career.

It's one thing to decide after getting married that it works better for your family if you stay home and take care of your children.  But if you are in your late 20s and you haven't been working on building some kind of career, men are going to assume you are looking for a sugar daddy.

Do you have a plan to support yourself in the event you don't get married (i.e., you don't find a man who wants to marry you)?  Because it's one thing to be "pursued" in the dating arena, but it's another thing to find a partner who wants to spend his life with you.

My aunt was gorgeous in her 20s and 30s.  She was a waitress.  She was pursued by many men -- wealthy men, handsome men.  None of those suitors turned into husbands.  And she never worked on building a solid career to support herself.  So now she is a waitress in her 60s who lives with her parents and partly relies on their Social Security.  She seems to have come to terms with it, but she went through a period of desperation in her 40s and 50s.  And even then, she still had time to do something career-wise, but she just wouldn't face reality.

I honestly think that had she taken a different path and worked on finding a job, becoming financially independent, she would have had better luck finding a partner.  And if she didn't find a partner, she at least wouldn't be working on her feet all night for pathetic tips.

I don't think any woman should squander her 20s and 30s banking on finding a husband to make up for not establishing a career.  It's very hard once you hit 40 to shift gears from retail jobs or waitressing to something more substantial.

For what it's worth, it isn't advice I'd just give to young women.  Pretty much every person should focus on finding a path toward financial independence and carving out a career base that they can build on. It gives you options.  [/quote]

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