Reply to "Jekyll and Hyde" DH went over the line

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Reply to ""Jekyll and Hyde" DH went over the line - what do I do next?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

Bottom line is she doesn't feel safe with him.  Why do people have such a hard time trusting women to make their own decisions? My DH has driven aggressively before but I never felt that it was his attempt to scare me or my kids.  OP knows what she saw and felt.  No one is saying he should go to jail, but why should she stay with her husband if she doesn't feel safe with him?  A lot has to happen to feel unsafe.  She wants help dealing with a situation where she fears for the safety of her and her child, not to be told that her fears are unfounded because "omg road rage happens to everyone". [/quote]

Because I've had my wife overreact to my driving when, while it was certainly an expression of anger that she would have rathered I not feel or express, was not remotely dangerous. I have no way of knowing whether she honestly felt scared or, instead, was pretending to be scared because she wanted to express disapproval and control my behavior but knew that saying "I don't want you to feel or express anger" would not have been well taken.

[b]You could say that "a woman would never, ever express being scared unless she was legitimately and rationally scared," but that would be a false statement.[/b] [/quote]

This is what the OP wrote: [b] " I was terrified. After he slowed down I apologized, made nice, kept it light and breezy the rest of the way home so I wouldn't set him off again. He has had flares of anger in the past and, yes, is controlling and puts me down. Many red flags I have been ignoring/denying. [/b]"

It's your problem that you don't respect women's honest statements of their own concerns for their health and safety and their children's safety.  Just don't inflict that on OP and her child.

[/quote]

Nah. My problem is that I don't know when the statements are honest and when they are dishonest. [/quote]

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