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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP again. Thanks for your comments. They are helping me think about what we are facing.

I decided to pack for DD. She can't do it. I've given up trying. It's too overwhelming for her. She won't get to college if she packs for herself.

12:41, I agree with you. DD is completely resistant to the idea that she has challenges. I doubt she'll reach out for help when the time comes.

This thread has really helped me see better what I need to do to help DD, despite her obnoxious behavior. I've been trying to push her to become more independent, but she's not ready and doesn't realize it.

Since we have the FERPA, can I just call the psychologists at her school and alert them that she might develop a problem? I'm not sure how to deal with a problem that hasn't happened.

Thank you 12:36. I've been thinking that I will need to set up her room and walk her through some routines (if she'll let me!). I will make a schedule for her for eating, sleeping, going to class, washing her clothes. If she gets desperate, she may even look at it!

I think she'll be an OK roommate, at least at first. She's quiet and somewhat neat. If she starts sleeping all the time, then we'll have a reason to push for a single.

She will have time management and study skills support -- I signed her up for that right away.

If we kept her at home, she'd get depressed and spend all day on her computer, but she would not socialize or get out and do things. College at least will provide some structure for her.

I cannot apply for a single until there's a problem. She has no diagnosis! That's not been a problem until now. I think she does have some ADHD, but again, so hard to diagnose. I think her issue is mostly ASD, the very edge of the spectrum, plus other issues. Some kids don't fall into any categories.

I wish we could afford the PEER program, but we can't. We can't afford a neuropsych either, alas. We have crappy insurance.

Back to her packing! Sigh. [/quote]

I still don't understand why you're packing for her.  I think being totally unable to get in the car and depart for college will be a much-needed wakeup call for her.  OP, it almost seems like you're clinging to the same false hope as your DD: that if you can get her physically to campus and enrolled, everything will work out.

Are you totally sure you can't get a refund, or at least a deferment, of what you've paid?  At least the meal plan or something?  That plus the expenses of transporting her there, is something at least.

I think you are being penny wise and pound foolish about the neuropsych eval.  Do you know how much you'll blow on travel and meals if you have to go up there and bail her out all the time?  At least take her to a psychiatrist.  That should be cheaper than a full neuropsych eval, but it might give you enough of a diagnosis to get a single.  [/quote]

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