Reply to If you are a woman with kids who divorced at 40+, how are things?

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Reply to "If you are a woman with kids who divorced at 40+, how are things?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I hope that the divorce is not awful -- but even when two people try to be civil and have the best of intentions, it is an adversarial and heart wrenching process.

[b]I [/b]divorced two years ago (separated four years ago) and life is good.  Really, really good. [b] I [/b]am surrounded by a group of wonderful, caring, and fun friends that feel like a family to me.  My son is thriving despite having a couple of rough years adjusting.  The divorce is behind[b] me [/b]now.

The hard part is finding time to take care of [b]myself[/b] -- and even more difficult is figuring out [b]what I want [/b]for [b]myself[/b]. [b] I [/b]am dating (I'm 50) and that's been quite an experience.  The reality is that dating with toddlers is not easy.  Babysitters are outrageously expensive and it's hard to set aside money for dating when there are bills to pay, etc.

You will survive 50/50 custody.  In fact, if you and your ex can[b] coparent [/b]somewhat effectively, you may grow to really appreciate it.  Co parenting is much tougher with infants and toddlers.  You can not control sleep schedules, restrict diets, or enforce napping when you are not with your kid.  That part sucks.  But, you will have time to recharge your batteries on[b] your days off[/b].  You can schedule social activities on those days.  You will be a more engaged parent when you are with your kids.

Hang in there.  I do second the vote for a good therapist, though.  [/quote]

Hummm... is it about her much?

coparenting is a myth... time with the father is "her day off" My guess is she see the divorce as a way to get a built in baby sitter who pays her rather than her having to pay him...[/quote]

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