Reply to How do you deal with a situation that is affecting you but its really none of your business?

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Reply to "How do you deal with a situation that is affecting you but its really none of your business?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

I feel sorry for your dad because of the above.  Your family members are being held hostage by the theatrics of a new SIL and her boys at your dad's expense.  And I mean this kindly, but I think you are wrong in thinking that it is none of your business.  It is definitely your business when they are guests in your home and your dad's vacation place.

Setting boundaries without enforcement doesn't hold water.  You seem afraid to enforce for fear of SIL drama and she and her boys know this and exploit it.

I would be much more concerned about pleasing my aging dad than a new, extended family member that refuses to make her children behave when visiting new extended family members.

Your SIL would have had one time to pull that crying sh*t in my home.  The next time they came to visit, the boys would eat what was put in front of them or a sandwich or cereal, etc. with no fast food option, period.   At the rate you are going, your dad is going to resent having to deal with them at all, especially for his 75th birthday party.

P.S.  Are they of a different culture?[/quote]

Yea I get it, its just really tricky to step on someone elses parenting you know?. Funny thing is DH and I are pretty structured and traditional parents. My children eat what is served and they are expected to participate with the family. This is just so frustrating and unfamiliar. My family is hispanic, DH's is white and so are SIL and her boys.

Please be assured if this was really bothering my dad I would do something more. My dad was a drill sgt for 20 years and after the talking to he gave them both after that first sunday and the church incident they steer clear of him. I guess we should all be more like him, if they didn't want to eat something or participate he just shrugged it off and focused on who did.

I was actually thinking of calling my SIL and talking about my dad's birthday and mentioning since it will be long with a lot of activity and catered maybe the boys wouldn't enjoy it. Like a hint of sorts. Or maybe I should just sit down and honestly talk to her. She has to know there is a problem right and this can't go on. But I've already spoken to DH about the poker night and he agrees its a good idea. He thinks BIL is being way too soft about this BTW but we all understand how hard blending a family must be.[/quote]

OK, good to hear that your Dad has things under control.  :)

You sound like a really caring person, OP and glad that that your DH is on the same page with you.

Maybe you and your dad can put your heads together and run interference, so to speak, since he is not afraid to set boundaries.  Make a game out of it?  If you two can come up with a plan where you back each other up on discipline measures, then maybe you won't have to have that awkward talk with your SIL.[/quote]

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