Reply to How do you deal with a situation that is affecting you but its really none of your business?

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "How do you deal with a situation that is affecting you but its really none of your business?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
I don't think you are looking for effective approaches but instead just want to vent.

At first it seemed like both the new SIL and her boys were the problem.  Now it seems that you and your nieces are actually fond of the SIL but not her boys.

And it seems that you will continue to include your in-laws family at your family's get togethers anyway, regardless of the new nephews' rude manners, even though your new SIL will boldly defend them.

It is obvious that you fear that you will upset your DH and his brother.   So, it looks like you all will just have to cater to your new nephews' rude behavior and fast food requests since you don't actually intend to set much needed and healthy boundaries since you are the host of these invitations.  I feel sorry for your dad.[/quote]

I was venting yes. Thats why in the OP I said I know I can't do anything about this. [b]And was asking how you deal when its none of your business.[/b]

[b]I am fond of my SIL but the way she has raised her sons is disrupting our family.[/b] I can stop inviting them to family things, but I think that would be pretty rude and kind of mean.

I don't fear my DH or BIL or fear upsetting them.[b] DH and I have set boundaries. If we enforce them it ends in tears and being told we aren't including the boys.[/b] I have thanked posters here for their advice and said I will give it try, not sure what else I can do. That was the point of the vent. [b]We have done everything to welcome them, accommodate them, include them, set boundaries, explain rules. It always turns to tears and a screaming match.

Why do you feel sorry for my dad? [/b][/quote]

I feel sorry for your dad because of the above.  Your family members are being held hostage by the theatrics of a new SIL and her boys at your dad's expense.  And I mean this kindly, but I think you are wrong in thinking that it is none of your business.  It is definitely your business when they are guests in your home and your dad's vacation place.

Setting boundaries without enforcement doesn't hold water.  You seem afraid to enforce for fear of SIL drama and she and her boys know this and exploit it.

I would be much more concerned about pleasing my aging dad than a new, extended family member that refuses to make her children behave when visiting new extended family members.

Your SIL would have had one time to pull that crying sh*t in my home.  The next time they came to visit, the boys would eat what was put in front of them or a sandwich or cereal, etc. with no fast food option, period.   At the rate you are going, your dad is going to resent having to deal with them at all, especially for his 75th birthday party.

P.S.  Are they of a different culture?[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics