Reply to How do you deal with a situation that is affecting you but its really none of your business?

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Reply to "How do you deal with a situation that is affecting you but its really none of your business?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You need to distinguish between things like playing video games/eating junk food versus being affirmatively rude, disruptive etc.  It's not on you to force them to be sporty or eat healthy foods.  But you can enforce basic rules of courtesy.  Pick your battles.  You lost me when the first insult you hurled was that they are "obese."  [/quote]

Absolutely. This is just what I was going to say. Their food habits and their hobbies are really not the issue, and you will make much more progress with the BIL if you only discuss the rude behavioral issues. Your kids like basketball and these kids like video games? Some people's favorite color is blue and some is green. But where they are actively rude, that's the kind of behavior you can discuss with the BIL. Try not to focus on "why aren't these kids like my kids." Maybe they don't even know how to swim? And really, hold your tongue on anything about their weight or food intake. Not your battle and you won't win. [/quote]

I knew this would be misunderstood.

These children won't do anything but play video games sun up to sun down and will throw screaming fits including throwing things when they cannot. They will only eat boxed cereal, chicken nuggets, mac and cheese and sweets. Only, and they will throw a screaming fit including hitting their mother when they cannot. My boys tried to get them involved most of the summer as did I. I mentioned basketball as an example, my boys like lots of things and will usually resign themselves to playing video games with these two so they[i] will[/i] be included.

I don't want these kids to be like my kids. I have never said anything about their food intake or weight to them. I however don't want to lose contact with my BIL or nieces however since these boys won't participate in anything but what they want and like it makes family get togethers miserable. I'm the one still trying here, most of the family avoids them like the plague especially because everyone bent over backwards to welcome them in. You can only be grunted at and ignored for a screen for so long before you give up.[/quote]

Invite them over to play and if they don't get up and play that is on them.  You and your kids will have done your part.  My own kids have had athletic friends that they shoot basketball with and nonathletic friends who prefer to hang out inside doing stuff.  But a selfish friend who will only do what they like to do and actually throws tantrums when asked to do something different - no.

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