Reply to Single Mother by Choice Rant

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[quote=Anonymous]I'm a "single mom by choice" and I kinda sorta get where the OP is coming from, a little bit -- but certainly not the rageful attitude behind it. You gotta relax, OP.

Where I'm mildly sympathetic is that I do think SOME (not all!) of my fellow SMCs use the term to distinguish themselves from "those" women who get themselves "knocked up," even if they might not say so out loud. It is my sense that some women don't want to be seen as being irresponsible like their perception of low-income, undereducated, black and brown women.

As a minority woman, I realize that no one is going to look at me and my kid and think "oh, she did this the 'right' way since she's an SMC."  You can't tell by looking at me. All they're going to think is, oh, here's another single black mom with a kid -- and they will make their judgments accordingly. No label I slap on myself will change that.

At the end of the day, we're all moms, we all have the same needs and wants and struggles, and I think there's far more that binds us than that separates us. (I'm including married or partnered mothers in this too.) It is an extremely rare occasion when I need to distinguish my type of singleness from any other woman's singleness. When I do, it is purely to signify that there is no dad in the picture -- not a divorced dad, not a boyfriend out there, no one. It's not meant to suggest that I somehow arrived at motherhood by a more acceptable route than anyone else did. [/quote]

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