Reply to Please tell me, 42yo mom of two young kids, the realities of divorce

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[quote=Anonymous]Hello, OP, I'm weighing in here although my facts slightly different - but perhaps to offer a happy ending if you do decide to divorce - I divorced my last DH when kids were both preschool age, and am now happily remarried two years alter to a wonderful new man I met who has stepped in as a doting stepfather.    But the road is not easy.  Not one bit.

As a single divorced mom, you will be tested - there will not be anyone to take your kids off your hands, even for 15 minutes, on the weekends alone with them - can you handle it?  You will need to have childcare available to go on dates with other men and establish your dating life.... you will need to look your "best" on a budget that may be much less than what you had before your divorce....and above all, you will need to be grounded/happy and "there"f or your children at all times, likely seeing a therapist (expensive!) each week to make sure you are good, even if you think you are good (if you are feeling "good" after a divorce it is probably denial, a deceptive high.....that will blow up in your face at any point......)

Be prepared to accept help from friends - for me it was hand-me-down pots and pans and hand-me-down clothes so I could have the budget to invest in myself (read: botox to look fresher); food budget was not an issue as I spent my food budget on my kids the first year and starved myself to weigh what I did when I was 22- ----- you will have to present your best version of yourself.

And, dont be fooled - the men who offer to hook up with you now while you are married are not going to be interested in hooking up with you when you are single -becuase they are looking for someone married/unavailable to bang who doesnt want a commitment....

And --I think the worst thing to imagine is -- what if after your divorce your ex-husband suddenly rekindles romance with someone new, leaving you bitter of the past 7 years he's ignored/withdrawn from you????

See a therapist before making any decisions.[/quote]

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