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[quote=Anonymous]OP.  If you have a baby, you need to do what's best for the baby which is 1) not stay long term with a cheater but 2) stay long enough to figure out the real deal and get the best settlement possible.  If #2 means that you have to suck up and hide your hurt and act fake, then for the sake of your child, do that.

I have been in your shoes.  I opened a letter from the doctor's office that my now exDH left lying on the mail table for months.  The contents made it clear that he had had sex while we were married.  Even though my evidence was incontrovertible, I bided my time.  I began to go thru cell phone bill records -- looking at and googling all unknown phone numbers as well as looking at call times.  I reviewed charges on our joint credit cards.  I peeked at his cell from time to time.  I put a key logger on our home computer.  I kept track of he mileage on the car and compared it to where he said he was going.  I searched coat pockets periodically for receipts.

What I found was eye-opening.  There was, of course, far more going on than I knew and it was all seriously troubling.  When I finally confronted him,  I shared some pieces of evidence I found and I withheld others.  He begged me to stay, and I said I would consider it if he told the whole truth and we got counseling.

Sadly, he chose to continue to hide the truth from me, tell me more lies and ultimately, I kicked him out.  Although that period after finding out was HELL, in retrospect, I'm really glad I had the strength to not confront him immediately.  From the day I kicked him out, I was able to look back and know that I made the only possible decision and that it was the absolute best one for me and my kids.  I never was ensnared by his repeated attempts over the next few years to get back together, and I never had any doubts about the divorce.  That was a priceless freedom, that I paid for in part by the very high stress of keeping what I found secret and watching the lies unfold.

In the end, during our split, I finally disclosed more of the things I knew and the lies I had caught him in.  Although this has absolutely no bearing on legal custody and support proceedings, psychologically it gave me a huge advantage.  He didn't want me to tell all our friends and family about the real situation.  He knew I had evidence (documents, screen shots, key logging, etc.) that I could disclose if he tried to tell people that the split was my fault.  All of that gave me leverage to force him into a custody and child support settlement that I felt was best for me and the kids.

I really encourage you to get a grip on your emotions and use your brain to look for evidence and figure out what is going on.  Then, based on what you find, you can talk with him.  
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