Reply to So how hard is it really to be a single mother (by choice)?

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Reply to "So how hard is it really to be a single mother (by choice)?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I'm a single mom. I've had a very unpleasant, expensive and trying divorce and I often wonder why I did not have the self-confidence to become a single mother by choice.

On the other hand, I don't have family and one of the reasons for the ongoing expensive litigation is that my ex is constantly change the visitation agreement. This is not easy in terms of the quarrelling, but the fact that there is visitation is a huge relief for me. It gives me time to schedule work meetings that cannot be during 9-5 and gives me time to get to the gym and cook ahead (to save money). So I throw it out there that I think if you have supportive family, it does make a big difference. Even to have someone who can sit while a baby naps makes a huge difference in terms of letting you take a walk, run to the grocery store, etc.

A final consideration: my career is demanding. I'm not some 9-5er, punching it in. I'm the primary breadwinner and I care that I am able to keep my DS insured for health, my retirement funded, etc. To support a working mom with a serious career requires a lot of money: preschool, back up babysitters or nannies, summer camps, and on and on. If you have less demands at work, you make less, but you may not have to spend as much. It's fine for others to say to just accept a "mommy track," but I think your level of comfort with that may vary based on your life/education expectations and you will need to think through this piece for yourself.[/quote]

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