Reply to Friend wants to go on vacation with ex husband.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If husband number 2 asks you, I would have said "You know it is hard for me to give a real opinion because I am not involved in this. I know what I think I would do, but like most situations until you're boots are on the ground living it, there is no way to know. I think you need to discuss this with your wife and the two of you figure it out. But it does sound complicated, I hope you come to a resolution that makes everyone comfortable"

So basically STAY OUT OF IT.  Even if someone asks, just give a non answer.  You can never win in these situations.[/quote]

Best advice and great language. Hard to be this eloquent in the moment sometimes, but strive for this![/quote]

OP here. He would have known that I was slapping him down. We don't speak like that. But yes, your words are smooth. . 
Anyway, I gave my two cents. I said that it is something they all need to get out of their system. So I encouraged him to let her go. It is not just about her, but it is about the kids.  They want to see their parents sitting at the same table (or camp fire). Maybe they will fight and the kids will see the real relationship. To me it is like a long lost child meeting their parent, but only they want to meet their family. The kids love their father since he is organized, and generous, but they also fear him since he is strict. In any normal situation, the presence of another adult, in this case their mother, should soften him. 
When I looked at the map of where they plan to hike I was jealous. Ex apparently knows that place like the back of his hand, so it is a hard thing to pass up. Friends husband is ok with his dd accompanying. The case of the left out kid did not come up and he did not seemed too concerned. 
I think what bothers him is that it looks bad.  I told him, it could make him look good. [/quote]

Yikes, too many details and too much consideration from you for a family that isn't yours. You're giving us your analysis of their personalities, interactions, motives, the layout of the park, the emotional investment of all participants.

OP, just put this situation to rest and think about your own life.[/quote]

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