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[quote=Anonymous][quote]As your FIL gets older, his behavior will possibly worsen. And he will know there is nothing you can do about it once they are entrenched. How do you and your DH will feel about your children witnessing FIL's treatment of family members? [b]What if he starts being abusive and manipulative towards them?
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It's not "if", it's 'when'.  I grew up in an abusive household and I recognize all the signs.  OP, you and your DH need to get to counseling to understand how to establish boundaries and to work through the emotions that setting boundaries will engender.  Believe you me, your FIL isn't the only one manipulating you.  Your MIL is as well.  She enables your FIL's behavior and guilts your DH into it as well.  YOU will have to be the one to break this cycle and you are ill equiped to do so.  It's not fun but it's something that has to be done.  The analogy the PP used about the bandaid is spot on.  It's painful as hell in the short run but it's what must be done for the long run.

Oh, I also agree that the meanest people live the longest.  Don't count on him dying soon or before your MIL.  As cold as it sounds, she made her bed.  She has to lie in it.  You and your DH don't.[/quote]

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