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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
I can think of a few ways.

Not mocking sensitivity in men. Teaching our children - male and female - not to mock sensitivity in men. Teaching men to value women based on something other than their looks, such that "the pretty girl" is not always the best catch and so that girls who are less "pretty" do not develop shitty self esteem based on their appearance and the rejections they experience because of their appearance.

But it really begins with accepting and vocalizing that the dynamic you describe is not positive or something that SHOULD be perpetuated. Just because something "is" a particular way does not mean that it "should be" that way.[/quote]

I have a son who is a sweet and gentle boy. He is already describing the athletic boys in his class -- kids who are, in my opinion, by and large assholes -- as the "cool kids" and the "popular kids". I keep correcting him, telling him that athletics doesn't make a person cool or popular. I hope that's true. I hope even more that he finds a girl he likes who likes him back early on - and that he doesn't have to wait for "some day" until the girls his age grow up and recognize those things as good traits.  Because I don't want him to internalize the message that being athletic is more attractive to women than being sweet and gentle. [/quote]

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