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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Men act like tough guys because the girls aren't vying for the attention of the soft and gentle men. Go to the high school and colleges - what are the qualities of the guys the prettiest girls (who, generally speaking, have the most options when it comes to guys) are trying to date? Are those guys displaying traditionally masculine traits? Are those guys displaying soft and gentle traits? Or is it an even mix between those things?

Because men will, by and large, try to develop those traits that will get them laid by the prettiest women. [/quote]

Are you suggesting that this standard is a good standard? That it is supportive and empowering to everyone? That these standards are positive for society? [/quote]

Not putting normative values on it, I'm describing the process. You get what's rewarded. If you can figure out a way to cause pretty girls to be sexually excited by soft and gentle men, I think societal gender dynamics will change pretty quickly. [/quote]

I can think of a few ways.

Not mocking sensitivity in men. Teaching our children - male and female - not to mock sensitivity in men. Teaching men to value women based on something other than their looks, such that "the pretty girl" is not always the best catch and so that girls who are less "pretty" do not develop shitty self esteem based on their appearance and the rejections they experience because of their appearance.

But it really begins with accepting and vocalizing that the dynamic you describe is not positive or something that SHOULD be perpetuated. Just because something "is" a particular way does not mean that it "should be" that way.[/quote]

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