Reply to How far should we "Lean In?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I actually think the brief, postwar period in which one parent (usually the man) worked and the other (usually the woman) stayed home and took care of kids really is the ideal. Except I would want to update it so that men would be just as likely to stay home as women would.

My spouse and I both work and both try to be there for the kids (doctor visits, camp and ballet sign ups, cooking meals, trips to the playground, etc.). Let me tell you, it's exhausting. Specialization would be better. But few can afford to live on one salary in the modern economy.[/quote]

I think it's really great that my DH and I have equally split the parenting and bread winning duties for 15 years.  Specialization - one of us SAH and one of us WOH - would have led to resentments and marital issues.  Life is generally exhausting if you do it right.[/quote]

"Specialization" - never looked at it that way, but it does seem an apt term - has definitely worked for our family.  I don't resent my husband for working.  In fact, I'm very grateful he enjoys and is good at what he does.  The direct result of that is that I'm able to be home with our kids, something that I very much wanted to do.  We don't have marital issues, and neither of us is exhausted.  If we were, that would be a sure sign that we weren't "doing it right".  [/quote]

Yes, different personalities. Neither of us wanted to SAH, and I wanted a husband who was a much more involved father than he could be if he was working longer hours because I SAH. I would be very resentful if I were left doing all the domestic stuff during the daytime and never got to experience the satisfaction of my career.[/quote]

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