Reply to My dad's comments about my weight are truly making me dread his visit

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, where is your spouse in all this? Because let me be clear: if anyone is making stupid comments to my spouse about their weight, that person would hear from me. "if you can't be respectful to my wife/husband, them I'll have to ask you to leave our home."[/quote]

I think this is really weird when people expect others to speak for them, when they won't do it themselves. It's hard, but OP should be able to stand up for herself.

[/quote]

Sometimes abusive people do not respect the boundaries of those whom they have a history of abusing; the abused also may not know how to set those boundaries because they have never been respected by the abuser. Hearing it from a third party can be more effective.[/quote]

X1000000
Within a year after DH and I married, we each had conversations with the other that started with, "Wth is wrong with your mother/father/sibling?  I can't believe the way they talk to you!"  And each of us, brainwashed over 30+ years, said to the other, "what do you mean?"  Now, seven years later,DH know knows his mother is cruel and scapegoats him and his brother is the golden child. I call them out on inappripriate comments and DH now stands up for himself. Same in my family. I no longer accept the messed up status quo. I am a person worthy of basic human respect. You wouldn't be so rude to the cashier at CVS, so why would you be so rude to your own family member?[/quote]

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