Reply to Did your parents cheat? How did you feel about it?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]No, I don't. She was naive and I don't think she realized just how bad her behavior was. [/quote]

Oh fer chrissake what planet did she grow up on that she didn't realize ADULTERY was bad?[/quote]

I'm sure she knew adultery was bad, and understood the consequences for her marriage. I don't think she understood the consequences for her children. But I think those consequences would exist for the children of any failed marriage. OP is hyperfocused on marriages that fail because of adultery. All failed marriages have negative consequences for children.[/quote]

I think that the reason OP and others fixate on the damage done to children by adultery is that adultery is perceived as being a purely selfish action - a parent acting inappropriately for their own gratification. In the minds of many, parents are not supposed to do that. They are supposed to prioritize happiness and stability for their children at all costs, even at the expense of their own personal happiness.

I do not personally agree with this philosophy. I am not pro-adultery, but I also believe that parents have lives and feelings and needs separate from their children. Those needs and feelings do not go away simply because someone has children. I do not, for example, see the parent who cheats as being any more damaging than the parent who uses her child as a therapist. Both of those things are an inappropriate expression of emotional closeness and both can be incredibly damaging for a child.

I posted at 16:30, am the child of a woman who cheated and a man who used his children to vent his emotions during the divorce. Obviously people should do their best to be good people who lead fulfilling lives, but the expectation that parents should allow their children's[b] needs to completely supersede their own is damaging[/b].[/quote]
Not PP, but I agree with this 100%[/quote]

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