Reply to Picky-eating DCs and Judgmental Grandparents

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]3yo and 7yo DCs will be spending 2 weeks with my parents this summer, without DH and me. About a year ago my mom and I had an epic fight that nearly ended our relationship and began when she told me I was letting my kids parent themselves when it came to food.

I follow Ellyn Sattyr's Division of Responsibility in feeding, which teaches that raising your kids to have a good relationship with food and eating is more important than whether they eat their brussels sprouts tonight. It's well supported by research (as well as my experience applying it for 2 years now with picky DCs) but is hard for the clean-your-plate generation, i.e. my parents, to understand. And I will admit I have not even tried to explain it to them, because I view them (for good reason) as incapable of accepting that what they did as parents might not be the best or only way.

I am not interested in debating the merits of DOR. My question is this: [b]Do I raise this topic of feeding before sending my kids off to spend two weeks with my parents?[/b] 7yo DC has already asked me to tell grandma he does not have to eat beets. I am frankly terrified of raising this with them. I am inclined to write a long email explaining how I feed my kids and asking that they try to respect that. Putting it in writing has benefits--conflict avoidance being first and foremost, but also I can convey a lot of information without interruptions from my bulldozer of a mother. But I can already hear her ridiculing me to my siblings, that I wrote her this long email about catering to my children's picky eating.

WWYD?[/quote]

Yes, you do.

You tell them that either they can stick to your rules concerning parenting and nutrition, or the trip gets cancelled.

I think you're doing an awesome job re. your children and food, and I wouldn't want my children stressed by pushy grandparents.

Also, ridiculing you to your siblings? That's not a very mature attitude.[/quote]

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