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Elementary School-Aged Kids
Reply to "Parents of middle school girls, please..."
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]When the shorts available at stores are the short shorts, it's what the people buying them are going to wear. Perhaps you could petition clothing designers to make shorts with longer inseams. While you're at it, please alert clothing designers that girls and women would like to be able to purchase clothing that includes pockets. In the meantime, my daughter will do her best to buy clothes that she finds comfortable and flattering. If they don't meet your standards, take it up with the clothing designers and the adults who are setting the examples our children are following.[/quote] Seriously??? You are blaming the clothing line manufacturers for your daughter wearing shorts that show her ass? What a lame cop out. Just say "I have no control over what my daughter buys or wears, nor do I care."[/quote] My daughter wears skater fashions, her ass doesn't show. She is a fringe kid, the majority of her friends do not wear skater fashions. And I just lucked out on this, my kid happened to latch onto a fashion that's modest, even if it's not pretty. She won't get dinged for showing her ass, she'll get dinged for dressing too messy/casual. I completely understand why her friends wear short shorts. It's because it's what's at the store. It's what they see the stylish people they want to emulate wearing. They are what is to be found in stores. If adults do not want middle schoolers wearing revealing clothes, then don't design revealing clothes for middle schoolers, do not wear revealing clothes as the height of fashion, do not stock revealing clothes in stores. There are many many steps before we reach the "middle schooler picks out a pair of short shorts to purchase." Police those steps. Shall we discuss how even in children's clothes - clothes designed for 4 and 5 year olds - the girls versions are cut to be much more body hugging and revealing than the boys versions? Shall we discuss how we reach the point where our 12 year olds think body hugging leggings are appropriate and fashionable coverage? Middle schoolers do not wake up one day and decide they like clothing with miniscule inseams and cleavage enhancing bras. They are trained into this from day one. How about we start there, where the problem lies - with the adults - rather than trying to shame middle schoolers who are doing their best to find clothing that is fashionable and attractive.[/quote] [b]Again, be the parent. Don't allow your middle schooler to shop in adult clothing stores. Have them walk out of a dressing room and say "no way, I won't buy that for you."[/b] There are plenty of stores that have normal and modest clothing for this age. Shorts that show your ass is not the only option. You literally sound like a teen trying to rationalize with their mom why they should dress this way. [/quote] I'm poster 10:30, not the one to whom you were responding, but... why is it your business to tell me to parent in a specific way? Why would I do as you have suggested? It's utterly contrary to my parenting philosophy. I am a parent. I guide and teach and help and love my child... but what I don't do, because I don't think it's my place just because I'm her parent, is decide what anyone older than toddler years wears, in most cases. Our main house rule is not to harm anyone, so clothing with hurtful messages like slurs is not ok, but other than that I am not the one with control over my child's body (except for possibly in the case of significant medical decisions). I believe every person has the right to that much personal autonomy at least. I also don't believe in such a thing as "adult" clothing stores for non-lingerie items... and you seem to be talking about regular clothing not undergarments or things meant to be worn in the bedroom. My child has a clothing budget based on what will work for our family, and she chooses where to shop. I don't find any of her clothing choices objectionable, because I'm not sure why some clothing is supposed to be "bad". I just don't believe in that. Sorry. No one will force your child to wear something you object to, but neither do you get to impose your standards, to which DD and I strongly object, on my DD without her consent. No one has the right to force their standards for behavior on anyone else, unless the standard is to prevent harm or to do with something directly impacting the imposer's rights... with the exception being the duly appointed authority that actually makes the rules for a specific location or event. The school administration has the right to handle dress code violations, and if DD violates school rules she and I will deal with that, but that still is not specifically your business. [/quote]
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