Reply to Potty training strategies that do not involve bribery or rewards?

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[quote=Anonymous]OP here, and surprised this thread hasn't dropped to the 2nd page by now! Sincerely appreciate the thoughtful and even critical responses.

I should clarify that I definitely say "You got pee/poop in the potty! Would you like to flush it now? You're such a big boy." I don't throw a party or anything, but I do acknowledge what he's doing.

Our hope is that if/when he doesn't live up to expectations that he doesn't think we are disappointed in him when he does NOT get the praise. For example, when we have an accident, I say, "You got pee on your pants. Next time let's try and get it into the potty." I try to keep it matter-of-fact without disappointment. DH's parents pushed him really hard, my own dad was MIA and believed in corporal punishment, and my mom is no longer around to help me remember, so we're totally figuring out who we are as parents with every parenting decision. We've made some missteps along the way, but all in all, I feel confident in the way that we parent. And most of the time we are on the same page. I realize that this is *just* potty training, but I also feel each trial like this sets the tone for our relationship.

I'll admit to screen time having become a bit of Achilles heel for me recently, too, especially since DH has been on the road a lot. Good point about that not really being the best alternative, and it's something I've been trying to cut back on anyway.

For the daycare question, I'm not asking her to do it a certain way, but the way the PTed her son is comparable (I think bubbles were possibly involved?). We agree on the basics like not going back to diapers outside of naptime, not punishing, positive talk, etc.

As for this being a potty training failure, I beg to differ. I know that some decisions we make because they're easier on us (hello, screen time and freezer chicken nuggets), but we as parents, you and me, try our hardest to do things that (we believe) are in the best interests of the child as much and as often as we can. And each day seems a little better than the one before it. Four times in the potty today, and when I say "Let's go potty," I get an "OK" and not a fight. It's actually never been a fight, in fact.

Still kind of wishing I hadn't opened the can of worms, but appreciative of the mostly thoughtful discussion it prompted.[/quote]

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