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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP again. Surreal is a good word. Just at a complete loss of what to do almost, and it's not like those things I know she wants are really going to fix anything. I'd be thrilled if they did, but I think if we get there she will look up and be in the same place.

She might not even have admitted this to herself. [/quote]

Why not try doing those things she wants? I know you don't think they will help, and maybe they won't, but if you want your fix your marriage as much as you say you do, isn't it worth a try? It kind of feels like you're telling yourself this as an excuse so you don't have to actually do anything differently.[/quote]

OP here. I will and more. It just hit me with a ton of bricks that even if I do everything she needs/wants to be in a position to get past things, there may not be any love waiting at the end. [/quote]

I'm the original surreal poster. She gave me a big wake up call with an emotional affair with a work colleague. I forgave her and started helping out more. Coincidentally my income skyrocketed (reaping what I sowed during the early years). She is still saying she is not in love with me. It's frustrating because I am willing to make any amends. It's sad that I would need to divorce and start over showering the new woman with the benefit of what I learned in the first current marriage. I've told her this. She doesn't care. So so sad. Get over it!!  I am sorry. I didn't think I was that bad!  [/quote]

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