Reply to In shock - he cheated

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[quote=Anonymous]OP be thankful you don't have children with this man. That makes everything 1000 times more complicated. You have the ability to leave now. I can't imagine starting a brand new marriage with someone who already f-ed things up before it even started. It sounds to me like your marriage has no chance. Sorry to be blunt.

I'm having a hard time with the excuses everyone is providing for this guy. He is a liar -period. I have no time for liars. Despite counseling etc I seriously doubt this man will change.

I do not buy the excuse that it was long distance, therefore it was somehow OK? NO!! -it was still an exclusive relationship - and he broke your trust. Honestly he sounds like a conniving a-hole who thought the was getting away with everything. And all these flirty messages? Who knows how many other women he was, or has been talking to all this time?

It appears  to me that your reasons for not wanting to divorce are more out of shame, than having to do with any feelings for him. I mean, sure you love him, but it sounds like your feelings of embarrassment and not knowing what to do logistically are worrying you more than anything else.  Don't let those feelings stop you from making the right decision. Be grateful you found out about this now.
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