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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]saying she HAS to drop the course ... I told her no[/quote]

You are not responsible for he decisions anymore. She shouldn't be getting your permission. Ideally it shouldn't occur to her to ask for your permission.

Her life/her choices/her mistakes. Yes/your money perhaps. You can decide to pay or not, or make her reimburse you, whatever - but that's your role: money. And not much else.
Maybe to listen. If she wants to vent. She may talk to you like a friend. But like a friend, a friend is not going to say, "you can't do xx".[/quote]

See I had parents like you in college, and it sucked.  If her DD is calling home and asking for permission, her DD needs help.  Yes, she is adult but it is a tough decision and can have ramifications both financial and education wise.  The biggest mistake my parents made was believing that just because I went off to college I had it all figured out no longer need help or guidance. I made that same mistake myself and stopped asking for support.  Looking back now, I see my friends who had the biggest support from their parents in college and grad school made it much further and had an easier time.  BTW I am almost 50. [/quote]

Help and guidance is not the same as making the decision for a kid.  The OP says that she's been a helicopter parent, which means that the solution is to step back a bit and let her kids make decisions for themselves and then deal with the consequences.  That doesn't preclude OP from listening and giving advice (which she should do if asked, certainly) but it does mean that the ultimate decision has to be the daughter's.  [/quote]

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