Reply to Would you feel the same way? MIL inviting herself over

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If your mom did this, would you care? I personally would not (and my mom would do those kinds of things if she lived close), so I wouldn't get mad at MIL for doing the same things. [/quote]

I think the "If she lived close" part indicates that you haven't exactly lived it. What looks good on paper can be very disruptive in real life. Plus, Op is not you.  It's o.k. to ask people (even moms and MILs) not to just drop by w/o notice if that is not comfortable to you.  Op needs to be able to relax in her own home.[/quote]

I am just asking the question. Many people seem to have different standards for their own parents v inlaws, which I think explains many IL issues. [/quote]

+1.  TBH, I think a lot of these MIL issues are self fulfilling hangups that the DILs have.  A lot of them are extra critical of MILs anyways.  Thus, stuff like this (which would not bother me at all) takes on a life of its own.  OP (with PPs' help) is assigning all kinds of nefarious motives.  Perhaps, MIL was lonely and just wanted to spend the eening with her son and his family.  Perhaps she could not wait to see the joy on her grandson's face when he got his new toy.  After 20 years of marriage, I have learned that if you see the worst in things, that is what you get.

And TBH, if my spouse rasied a big stink about an issue like this, I would back him publicly, but I would not be too thrilled with him.  [/quote]

It is not rude to want to spend an evening at your own home without visitors.  Maybe you enjoy an open door policy at your house but don't expect that everyone is like you.[/quote]

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