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[quote=Anonymous]When I had my first kid, my DH and I weren't married, and I honestly didn't know what kind of father he would be (we were young), so I decided to give our dd a hyphenated last name. That way if he dropped out of the picture and I became her primary parent, we would share the same name and she could drop his.

We ended up marrying three years after she was born, and dd #2 is not hyphenated. I didn't take my husband's name until we were married about five years, and even then I dropped my original middle name and now my maiden name is my middle name.

Our oldest is an adult now and she thinks her hyphenated name sucks, and wishes I'd just picked one or the other. Hindsight is 20/20, I suppose but I wouldn't do anything different. She worries about what name she will give her kids since her own "legal" name is so long. But in general, she has dropped my name and uses DH's last name since she's closer to his family than my family.

My DH had no issues with me not taking his name, or both of our kids having hyphenated names. But I did decide to take his name because I wanted us to present a united family unit to the world and being a young, unwed Mom was a kind of ... unsavory experience, so I felt marriage gave me some legitimacy. Sad, but true. I don't feel that way now because I'm older and wiser and care less about what people think. 
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