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Reply to "Mom wants to quit her job, sell her house, and move in with us."
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your first priority is to your DH and your children. I know you love your mother, but her moving in with you (realistically for the rest of her life -- maybe 30-40 years given her age) will permanently impact the family life you create with your DH and school-aged children. Is that the vision you and your DH have/had for your family? [b]Maybe you and your siblings could pool your money together to help your mom with her monthly rent/living expenses. One of you should help her handle her finances -- make sure her rent, utilities, basic bills are paid, etc.[/b] Also, for those of you living with toxic relatives -- I don't understand WHY you allow these toxic parents/grandparents to live with you. Seriously. I fully agree with "honoring my parents" but that does NOT mean you allow mean-spirited, abusive people to control your lives. Find another way to make sure that they have shelter, food, basic necessities, but there is no way they should be in your homes poisoning your lives on a daily basis. [/quote][/quote] OP here. That would be ideal, but it my mom doesn't want anyone handling her finances. Of course, she won't handle them herself either. What she wants is someone who will take care of her. I think she thought she would find a man to do this but that hasn't happened (and is obviously a terrible plan besides) My two youngest siblings are still building their lives and won't be in a position to contribute meaningfully for many years. The oldest brother might be, but he and SIL are smack in the middle of paying school loans and full daycare for 2, and buying into SIL's law firm, so they aren't in a much better position, in the short term at least, than I am. I really don't know what to tell my mom - maybe sell the condo, keep her job for as long as she can, but move in with HER mother (who has few assets and won't live another 2 years probably)? My DH is quite open to my mom moving in. He comes from a country where this is more normal. He thinks I am being mean to my mom if I don't let her move in. [/quote] The gift that keeps taking: http://psychcentral.com/disorders/dependent-personality-disorder-symptoms/[/quote]
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