Reply to Would you view this to be a breach of trust?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It sounds like you feel pretty strongly about it. I think rather than trying to find a way to do it behind your wife's back I would work on getting your wife on board with the idea. Slowly, letting her ask whatever she needs to ask and then sitting with it, etc. I think that's the only way for this to work. [/quote]

I feel a very strong obligation to help my friend. I also don't want to irretrievably destroy my marriage. I am conflicted.[/quote]

Where does this sense of obligation to your friend come from?[/quote]

Very legitimate points have been made and not things that I have not thought about. I briefly touched on why I feel obligated to my friend and I will elaborate on this later when I have a few minutes.

Yes, I am very likely going to go through with this; the only issue for me was whether to do it without telling my wife or to be upfront with her. Your responses have convinced me that I must be candid with her. But it will be a [i]fait accompli[/i] because irrespective of her views I will proceed to do so and live with the consequences. When I elaborate on a little of the background some may see where I am coming from and others will not.

The purpose of my original post was to take the easy way out and not hurt my wife. I was wrong in that regard and to that extent the comments - even those that were highly critical - were helpful.[/quote]

OP, you are acting like a jackass. You want to give this woman your sperm, fine, that's your call. But at least be man enough to be honest with your wife that you don't care enough about her or the marriage for it to be a consideration, and ask for a divorce. Don't just put this "fait accompli" in front of her and then make her do your dirty work of being the one to initiate the divorce.[/quote]

No, you are the one who is a jackass. You are effectively telling OP to inform his wife that because he is going to donate his sperm against her wishes he feels that he must initiate an action to divorce her. This would be idiotic and callous ........ and I am someone who disagrees with OP's priorities. It is OP's wife's call whether she wishes to stay in the marriage.[/quote]

OP knows his wife will be completely opposed to this, and he's going to do it anyway even though there is zero obligation or need for him to do it (she has plenty of other options for getting sperm). And it's not like we're talking about going to a baseball game, it's creating a child, with all of the obligations that come with it. Anyone who would do this to his wife clearly doesn't truly love her. I'm sure he has his reasons for wanting to keep the marriage, but it's not love or he wouldn't betray her like this.[/quote]

I don't know whether OP loves his wife or not. He clearly has divided loyalties but nonetheless it is his wife who should be the one to decide whether she wants to stay in the marriage. [/quote]

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