Reply to Would you view this to be a breach of trust?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It sounds like you feel pretty strongly about it. I think rather than trying to find a way to do it behind your wife's back I would work on getting your wife on board with the idea. Slowly, letting her ask whatever she needs to ask and then sitting with it, etc. I think that's the only way for this to work. [/quote]

I feel a very strong obligation to help my friend. I also don't want to irretrievably destroy my marriage. I am conflicted.[/quote]

Where does this sense of obligation to your friend come from?[/quote]

Very legitimate points have been made and not things that I have not thought about. I briefly touched on why I feel obligated to my friend and I will elaborate on this later when I have a few minutes.

Yes, I am very likely going to go through with this; the only issue for me was whether to do it without telling my wife or to be upfront with her. Your responses have convinced me that I must be candid with her. But it will be a [i]fait accompli[/i] because irrespective of her views I will proceed to do so and live with the consequences. When I elaborate on a little of the background some may see where I am coming from and others will not.

The purpose of my original post was to take the easy way out and not hurt my wife. I was wrong in that regard and to that extent the comments - even those that were highly critical - were helpful.[/quote]

Wow. OP, I was one of the posters who said I would be okay with my husband doing this, but I cannot imagine an explanation that would make you not look like an asshole in this situation.  Please tell your wife that you care more about this woman than you do about the woman you married so that she can meet and marry someone who will respect her. [/quote]

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