Reply to Is giving up making your own money a bad idea for ANY woman? (philosophical ponderings)

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Reply to "Is giving up making your own money a bad idea for ANY woman? (philosophical ponderings)"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My parents got divorced when I was 4 and my dad was never consistent with child support.  My mom, who had previously been a SAHM, had to go back into the workforce and support two kids.  SHe ended up having a very successful career, but that was a different time and even then it was NOT easy, for her or for my sister and me.  My DH's parents split up when he was in middle school.  His father was more reliable about payments but they'd never had much money to start with, so paying for two households was tough.  His mom went back to work and was able to support herself, but barely, and if she had lived to old age she probably would have been in trouble financially.

Despite that history, my DH and I decided to have me stay home.  We're not rich by DC standards (he makes about $325K) but we live below our means.  We work with a financial planner and we have plenty of savings/assets and are both well-insured for death or disability.  I'm not naïve about marriage, but my DH and I have been together for over 15 years and seen each other through a lot of life shit, and we've grown nothing but closer over time.  I am as secure in my marriage as I ever could be about anything.  And I really do think most people who get divorced knew it was a possibility, whether they admit it or not.  Does this mean it's a hundred percent guarantee we'll never get divorced?  Of course not.  But I'm willing to take the gamble on living our day-to-day lives the way that makes us happy as a family.

If we were to split up and my DH did not treat me generously with alimony and whatnot, I do have a few "backup plans."  I am trained for 2 careers, and my much-less-preferred one is one that I could step back into fairly easily.  It's not lucrative and my lifestyle would have to change, but it would be enough.  Also, my mom and stepdad are fairly comfortable financially, and they would never let my kids or me go homeless.  Sure, it would suck to have to adjust my lifestyle downward, but I know I would be OK.  I have open eyes and I'm comfortable with the pros/cons/risks of my choices.[/quote]

I think you're right. I'm not that happily married, and I need the ability to support my self and my kids, so I wouldn't be happy AH.[/quote]

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