Reply to If your child is gay or bi..how do you handle sleepovers?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is not a sleepover party where there is a group of girls in attendance.  You are talking about 2 girls.

The point is most people will not let their child have a sleepover with someone with whom there could be potential mutual attraction. I am not sure why the rules change b/c the child in question is gay.

Would I let my straight daughter have a sleep over with a boy, even if she said she wasn't attracted to him.  Nope!  Therefore how is it homophobic to say I would not let her have a sleep over with another lesbian, even if she wasn't attracted to her.

It has to be the same rules regardless of sexual orientation.  [/quote]

You are correct, sort of.  What you're missing is that just because your kid hasn't told you they're gay, it doesn't mean they're straight.  Your 14 yo son could be having circle jerk sleepovers with his buddies and you'd never know.  The difference here is when a kid comes out at a young age- should all sleepovers be off limits?

I'm not sure, tbh. [/quote]

I agree.  I have heard all sorts of stories about girls experimenting with other girls at sleepovers, however as parents we have to work with the information that has been provided to us and our own observations in an effort to make reasonable decisions about what is right and wrong for our families.

No one said sleepovers should be banned but I think one-on-one sleepovers needs a little more investigation.  It is not just an easy answer.  Just as you would not automatically (if at all) let a boy sleep over with heterosexual DD, there is nothing wrong with asking more questions if DD believes she is homosexual.  As a parent you have the same right to ask questions.  For example if heterosexual DD wanted to have a sleep over with a homosexual male I would probably say yes more easily than I would if my lesbian DD wanted to have a sleep over with her lesbian friend.  I don't thin there is a one size fits all answer for all kids and all families.

As for this situation, as I mentioned in a previous post maybe a sleepover in the living room might make more sense than a sleep over in the bedroom.  Even though you would do your best to give the kids their privacy, they know someone could walk on them at anytime.  See how it goes from there and re-evaluate if the sleepover with the same person comes up again. 
[/quote]

I'm that PP and I agree.  One other thing to consider is that if my daughter wanted a gay boy to sleep over, assuming he's out and his parents know, just talk to his parents.  By no means should we out him to his parents- not saying that at all.  But if he's gay, his parents know he's gay, and they want to have a sleepover, isn't the sensible thing to talk with his parents and make sure everyone's on the same page?

I mean, this is slightly new territory for parents as more kids are coming out earlier and it is (sometimes) more socially acceptable to be gay.  But its not like one person should make a blanket proclamation about sleepovers in a vacuum.  [/quote]

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