Reply to Is giving up making your own money a bad idea for ANY woman? (philosophical ponderings)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's not worth the time to consider because you can't extrapolate out from individual couples. In other words, it's all micro, no macro. I'm sorry your husband had mental problems and you got divorced but that has nothing to do with me. Every marriage is different and no one knows what goes on inside a marriage except the two people in it. [/quote]

How wonderful to have 1000% certainty that nothing bad will ever befall you.

[/quote]

I agree with PP.  My parents are together, reasonably happily, as are DH's parents.  While either DH or I could lose our health or our jobs, I don't foresee divorce in our future.  Our kids are young, we're still paying off debt and living paycheck-to-paycheck (yes, I 'm working part-time because we can't afford for me to SAHM, we tried it).  When we're more financially secure, then we'll make better plans for future disasters.[/quote]

I hate to be a Debbie Downer, but how old are you?

I know of three couples who all were as you describe -- parents together, happily, kids, happy family dynamic, seemingly everything right.  And then, in all three cases, one spouse -- who was never the type to cheat, seemed completely perfectly matched and content in their marriage -- met someone, and the result was divorce.  In two cases, this happened after at least 10 years of marriage.  (In one case, it happened after 15 years of marriage.)  And in all three cases, it was a COMPLETE shock to the spouse being left, because they honestly never even imagined divorce would be a possibility.

I've never heard someone going through a divorce say "I totally thought we'd get divorced."  Most people say, "I never thought we'd get divorced."  [/quote]

PP here. Again, that's why individual circumstances matter. My spouse and I have been married for over ten years. If he left me tomorrow,  as unlikely a possibility as that is, I'd walk away with at least three mil dollars plus child support for a child who is only 1 and likely alimony for a # of years. More than enough to start over. If he dies, god forbid, I'd cash out his life insurances policy and be set for life. We have stock that pays a passive income stream of about ~60k after taxes. I'd trim my budget and live off that. We have long term care and disability insurance. You don't have to worry about me. I will be fine one way or another. [/quote]

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