Reply to Male Acquaintance Claims He Was Raped by His Girlfriend

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[quote=Anonymous]I am Facebook friends with a man who was sexually assaulted by a woman while he was in college. He is pretty open about what happened to him and it was basically a case of a more experienced woman taking advantage of an inexperienced man and not noticing/caring that he was apprehensive, didn't feel ready, wasn't sure he wanted to be doing what she wanted to be doing. He never told anyone in college and as far as I know, when the assault was over, he did not have a further relationship with the woman. I don't think he's ever confronted her and know he never reported anything to the police. He has other significant emotional issues, particularly related to women. Cheated on his wife, who left him, is unhealthily obsessed with the wife of a friend of his who he made out with one time many years ago before they were married, has visited massage parlors and had sex with prostitutes there.

If we reversed the genders and made it an 18 year old woman who had sex with a 21 year old man, did not feel ready for the intercourse and felt ashamed to tell anyone what had happened to her, we would absolutely call it sexual assault. We wouldn't expect her to be proud of what a vixen she was. We might make much about how she should have said no clearly, gotten out of the situation, told someone, etc., but when the situation is described starkly as actions, we would not categorize it as anything other than a coercive unwanted sexual encounter.[/quote]

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