Reply to DD roleplays with a mommy and daddy even though she has 2 moms

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Congratulations, your daughter is normal.  Literally every child on earth has a biological mother and a biological father, even your daughter.  That is how babies are made.  It is normal and healthy for kids to understand that and playact it.

You can raise her to be accepting of her circumstances, and those of other kids who are missing one or both of their biological parents.  You can raise her to love and appreciate her adoptive parent or parents.  But the fact that you are are a grown adult trying to brainwash her into believing she actually HAS "two moms" and that having "two moms" is a normal and natural thing is more likely to confuse the hell out of her than playing house with Ken and Barbie.[/quote]

I would really like to know why you would come on this forum and write such a thing?  There are many types of families and as long as the child is loved and cared for, what does it matter the configuration?  I feel sad to think this child will face confusion, but not because of her moms, but because of narrow-minded people like you.  You should spend some time reflecting on where your unnecessary hatred comes from.  If you really care about children and their happiness, find a way to embrace others who are different from you.[/quote]

NP here.  I think you are over-reacting, and seeing "hatred" where someone else is seeing something straightforward.  There are many types of families, and they are all completely valid, I agree with you.  But I think we should recognize that every child has a biological mother and a biological father, and this is where we come from.  By acting as if this is not "how children are made," you deny that child their rightful father and mother, and there is something deeply unsettling and wrong about that.  Now, there are your birth parents, and there is your family, and they may be completely different.  But don't try to deny that the world goes around because men and women make babies.  [/quote]

Exactly.  I am the PP who posted the "every child has a bio mom and dad" post.  I did not mean it hatefully.  I just wish people would consider the deeply primal need of all children to understand where they came from.  We would look aghast at adoptive parents who tried to tell a child that their biological parentage was insignificant because they, the adoptive parents, are the REAL parents -- or worse yet, concealed a child's status as an adoptee entirely.  But we make all these brain-bending exceptions for gay parents and parents who rely on sperm/egg donors or surrogates, in the interest of furthering the idea that "love makes a family."

Love DOES make a family.  But we don't need to downplay the significance of our biological origins in order to make that more true.  That's not in the best interest of the children, who deserve to know the truth about where they came from.  [/quote]

Do you actually know any gay families with children? They discuss "where did I come from" questions at the time they arise, just like straight-parented families do.

NONE of them have "downplayed" their biological origins. But the children understand that they have two moms, or two dads. Because those are the parents raising them.

Really. Children are capable of understanding "where they came from" even it is isn't the hetero mom-and-dad model. And it doesn't bother or confuse them.

Seriously, I think the RAMPANT ignorance on this thread must be a result of lack of exposure. I just moved here from twenty years in the Bay Area, and gay-parented families are everywhere, and they're just as "regular" and boring as any other family. And their kids are fine.

[/quote]

I know several gay couples with children (some of couples are my peers, and some of the children of the couples are my peers).  In every single case, the children are the products of one parent's previous heterosexual relationship.  I don't know how common this is statistically compared to gay couples who adopt or use ART; these are just the families I've run into in my own life.  Some of their kids are fine, some are not -- a lot depends on how the parents (all of them -- bio, step, adoptive, whatever) handled things.  Their issues are obviously a lot different than those of kids who never knew one or more of their biological parents, though.  [/quote]

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