Reply to How to Convince my Husband to go for a third

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am in the opposite situation: DH wants at least four kids, I am done with being pregnant with DC2! However much I demonstrate that more children would put us at risk financially, etc... it is a gut feeling my DH has, something instinctive that he will miss all his life if we "only" have 2 children. Maybe it is because he comes from a family with 4 kids, maybe it is because his younger brother already has 4 kids (a little jealousy there). 
But being the eternal optimist, DH is convinced I will come around in time! Not :-)[/quote]

So, do you worry about resentment on his part is you don't ever come around?[/quote]

No, I do not worry - even though I empathize greatly - because honestly I believe it would not be a responsible decision for us to make on many levels: DC1 had health problems starting with his premature birth and continues to have special needs, I had major health issues following the pregnancy, and it was already a significant risk for me to become pregnant with DC2 (fingers crossed). Apart from medical issues, we will hardly be able to keep up with 2 children financially, let alone 3! And that is cold hard mathematics.

OP, what is perhaps more important than the decision itself is the way it is made, with good communication and empathy. There will always be a sense of loss for the child that could have been, or there will be a sense of being seriously (financially or otherwise) overwhelmed on your husband's part. You both need to talk about it.[/quote]

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