Reply to How to Convince my Husband to go for a third

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I feel the exact same way as you do.  We have two (DS3, DD1) and I want one more.  DH says no.  I am not trying to convince him.  I even, at times, tell him he is right, because at times I feel he is!  But I am fairly confident we will have one more.  I am keeping quiet about it because I know my husband, and the more I push, the more he will push back.  So for now, I don't really say anything, other than occasionaly making jokes about how I am going to have a third baby with my second husband.  :)  
I plan on waiting until I turn 35, when our youngest will be 2.5 (this is about one year from now) and just saying, ok, it's now or never, after this year I am closing up shop.  I have a feeling he will agree at that point.  I think he does want another one eventually, but he just wants to wait a while, and what he does not really get is that even though we are surrounded by "older" moms (late 30s, early 40s), there is no guarantee that I will be able to get pregnant at that age.  I am willing to wait until 35/36, but not more.  
Do you think if you stop pushing you may get a better reaction?  Or what if you say, can we revisit this idea in 6 months?  How old are you? How old are your kids?
I also think the DHs could be reminded of how short-sighted their views are -- it is hard in the beginning, of course.  But think of all the fun that comes from a big family later on......

Regardless, I do think resentment runs both ways.  I think if we don't do it, we will both look back with regret, and I will feel that I was pressured into a decision I did not agree with.[/quote]

So nice to actually read someone who feels the way I do.  I haven't actually been talking about it a lot with DH believe it or not. A couple months ago I told him how I felt and I asked him to think about it. I told him my many reasons, which I don't think he knew and I told him it would mean a lot to me if he at least thought it through. I told him we could revisit in a couple months. I am feeling pressure now because the clock is ticking.  I want to close up shop by 40 and that's approaching. I have never had a problem getting pregnant and I don't have an issue being an older mom, but I do feel like we did to has this out sooner or later. Anyway, I do feel, as you, that short term sacrifices give way to long term gains. And to the person who asked if I feared that the third would be special needs. Of course I do, but I really don't want to live my life not doing things based out of fear -- I would never leave the house, and I certainly would have never had one child let alone two. [/quote]

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